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Given only 6 weeks to live by experts in endodemiology, JayGatz discovered a unique gastric secretion that was stimulated by the anticipation and subsequent interest levels in Teefury daily shirt offerings. This substance, now referred to as Teefurium, has been determined not only to extend his lifespan, but also allows him to travel limited distances sideways in time and see into the upper 7 subsequent dimensions. He has vowed to use these powers for the good of mankind, but until he determines what good they are, he just uses them to buy Teefury shirts.

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