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rss 293 weeks ago
Hi everyone. This is the first t-shirt I have gotten around to designing. I want to improve my skills, and so I would like any constructive criticism you can give me. I feel like something is missing from the picture, but I can't place what.

Yuki-Onna

This drawing is based on the myth of the Yuki-Onna, a beautiful woman who lures people to their deaths during snowstorms.
10Comments
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    Ever seen Hero with Jet Li... where all the red/yellow leaves are flying around when the two women are fighting? That would be nice. Complicated, but...

    People hate white tshirts.
    The design is currently square in form, you could somewhat break that up with different compositional weight.

    Anyways... shows promise. Good work.
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    I have never seen Hero. I think I have an idea of what you are suggesting though.

    As for the white shirt thing, I have two white dogs, so I guess I just have gotten used to avoiding dark colored clothing.

    Thanks for the suggestions!
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    Nice illo of the woman, I agree with jimiyo's suggestion on adding an element to make the overall look not a square. Keep pushing it.

    ...maybe show roots and doing something with a shadow for her? I dunno, just a thought.
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    If you used a dark blue for the shirt color and white as an ink instead you could play with not making it a square by having it fade in a non-square shape. (If that makes any sense)

    Also try to get more going on in the background because the only multi-colored part of the design is the figure.

    Just thoughts.

    Oh and shadows are always good to create space.
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    it's a great start. I would suggest adding movement to the design, whether it's through the tree, its leaves (like jimiyo suggested) or her clothing, hair, wind, pattern on clothing. so many direction you could go. good luck! Can't wait to see your progress.
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    Thanks all for the good advice. I'll take another look into this next week, when I'll have a bit more time, and change up the background color and add a bit more movement. Perhaps a few snowflakes flying around.
  • image
    293 weeks ago
    the proportions of the woman to the tree make me think she's a giant. I'm also not a fan of the harshness of the tree - what if you made a background winter-storm-something with the tree shape reversed out of it? That would put the focus on the figure and less on the tree. you could also have outlines/silhouettes of travelers behind her, too - so that the myth actually comes across...right now, it kinda just looks like an asian lady chillin by a tree.

    the figure is great and the concept is unique. I think you could take this a lot of directions and make something really awesome - can't wait to see what you come up with.
  • image
    292 weeks ago
    really? I just thought it was a small tree
  • image
    292 weeks ago
    there's something about the tree that feels really awkward to me... but I can't place my finger on it. It might be because it feels too small... or maybe like someone else said, it's really heavy being the darkest object.

    I agree with what other people have said about adding movement to it.. Snow flurries would give more of an impression of a snowstorm... Or perhaps you can make her pop by giving her a more detailed kimono... or just make her look more "geisha-like".

    I'm not sure... But when I look at it, all I see is the tree.
  • image
    292 weeks ago
    I totally agree with Jimiyo on watching Hero. I'm quite sure you'll get lots of ideas on how to improve this. It's like a visual feast for this.
    For me, this is too clean. I really like the idea/concept and I like clean art too but erm, can I say it's toooo clean? Also, if you say "a beautiful woman who lures people to their deaths during snowstorms", I'd really try to work up a snowstorm(in this art) and maybe emphasize the beautiful but sinister expression on her??


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